There’s a room you may stumble into. It’s where you are just be-ing, not try-ing, and yet everything is getting done; everything is moving along. Being in the room is somewhat exciting, but only slightly, like maybe the level of excitement you feel when you anticipate going to lunch during the workday. But this excitement is how you feel about life and everything therein. You cannot achieve this room, it’s really not anything you would pursue anyway, yet when you’re in it, you realize it’s significance or value. Ironically, you could not find yourself in it if you weren’t capable of realizing it’s value.
You find yourself in this room after you essentially give-in to TFB (truth force being = what many call, God. I say TFB as God is a truth, a force, and a being. Much more on this in previous posts.) You cannot “try” and give in to TFB, you can only give in. This means, you cannot do it intentionally. A good analogy to this is falling asleep. You cannot force yourself to fall asleep through effort, you fall asleep naturally when you’re tired and you lay down with the intention of going to sleep. You will find that you fall asleep when you let go or when you forget about falling asleep and let your mind wander around. This is similar to meditation. You cannot try and get into some kind of “deep, meditative state.” You can only sit or stand with the intent of meditating. At that point, whatever happens is meditation. This is not to say there is not a quality to your meditation, but you cannot force or effort this quality into being. The difference between falling asleep and going into a meditative state is that you don’t let your mind wander in the latter. Obviously, there are other physiological differences.
But this is all a tangent. Back to the room. You cannot try and get into the room, you find yourself in there, or not. In this room, you are using TFB as your guide and your impetus. Much like the sailing analogy (described fully in previous posts), you use TFB to push you forward in the optimal direction, determined by TFB. This is why you aren’t really doing anything and yet everything is getting done. The dumb thing to do is to make a big deal out of the room or cling to it, as you’re liable to kick yourself out of the room, but this is ok. This is all part of the room. It is wise to just sit in the room and “let the world go by,” although that’s not really what happens as you’re still engaged, just not controlling or trying to control things.
The key to getting into the room is to exhaust yourself of all your egotistical machinations. So you really have to find yourself in there “by the grace of God.” In fact, in fighting with God, you may be closer to the room than someone who is “putting on airs” of spirituality or someone “very religious” who goes to church a lot and donates money or whatever and wears this like a badge, or even someone who does these things and is very self-effacing about it, but wears the self-effacement like a badge. You see? In traditional/historical China, there are people who try to be humble and secretly look down on others who are not humble, or consider themselves advanced due to their humility. All these people might as well be in another galaxy from where the room is, as they are so far from it. It’s better than this to just be sincere and argue and fight with God if that’s what’s in your heart. I tell you, there is no way to read this and deliberately decide to go into the room. You will find yourself there after you cycle through many, (lifetimes of) ego machinations.
Having faith is not something you can try to do either. The faith you feel you have when you’re trying is not true faith. Faith happens to you after you struggle with faith/TFB for a long time. Faith is like a gift from God. Being in the room is having faith. Losing faith is “trying” to do what “you think you should” do, or what you think is “right,” or “moral,” or anything else. I think the only person in the bible who had faith (besides Christ) was Abraham in the Old Testament, as Abraham was ordered to kill his only son for God and followed that order until it was withdrawn. I am not a Bible scholar, so I do not know how many others proved their faith to this degree, but I do know that God will push you to your absolute limits. God will take nothing less than you’re complete surrender, faith and devotion. When people claim to have faith, or if you think you have faith, ask yourself if there is anything you wouldn’t do or give up in order to follow God. If there is, you have no faith. Having faith is complete and total, like being pregnant. A girl cannot be partly pregnant or somewhat pregnant, she either is, or she isn’t. Faith is something you have (or has you) or you don’t. I realize in saying these things, some will think about jihad or other things God supposedly asks people to do or might ask you to do. To this I can only say, God speaks into your heart via your conscience. I use the yejing (I Ching) to pray and communicate with God, but you can hear God speaking to you in your inner voice like a radio station playing faintly in the background. You have to learn to tune into the correct channel. Everything else on the radio is crap, but a lot of it sounds pretty good so you wind up being distracted by the stations. You will eventually learn, when it’s time, to tune into the only one that matters. Anything you hear on this station is the Truth. The point is that you will not find yourself in the room until you have given up your fight with God, until you cease to live ego-centrically, until you give in. God may test you intensely or push you to your limit before you give in. You may even feel you’re going to “go crazy.”
When you’re in the room, you have let go of your own mind and rationality in favor of TFB’s mind and rationality. You are in a state of not rationalizing through life like it’s a chess game, but sailing through life like a sailor. (See previous post for complete explanation of sailing analogy.) You don’t know ‘where’ you’re going to go, or even ‘who’ you are. You may have ideas about these things, but you don’t attach to them. You are “going with the flow,” taking life “one day at a time,” not attached to the past or future, but “living in the now.” The issue here is, you are comfortable not knowing everything or trying to know everything, or believing you know everything, about yourself and your life and what you’re supposed to do or should do. You’re not rationalizing through life, you’re following TFB.
The best thing to do with this post is to just think about it. Being in the room could only be considered “desirable,” if you’ve essentially given up on all the other things you thought were “desirable.” There is peace and joy in the room. There is energy and love in the room. In fact, an inexhaustible supply. So think about the room and realize there’s another WOB (way of being – mentioned in previous posts and described fully in future post), or way of living, that is 100% different than anything you’ve ever tried or experienced before. Remember, the first step in growth is not a step at all, it’s to STOP stepping. STOP. Stop and ask questions. Then live the questions. This is part of what “you” ego can do to eventually find yourself in the room. If you’re reading this post, it’s likely you have a chance to get in there. Meditation is advisable because it helps you to STOP. It’s your mind that must stop and this is difficult to accomplish without physically stopping.
The room is really quite amazing and bizarre in a wonderful way. Yet, truly, it is nothing to write songs about or make an infomercial about or get on late night TV and try and sell “books and tapes” about. Well, I suppose books and tapes would be ok. 🙂